Question 1

Do I have to mediate?

Accepted Answer

No, mediation is voluntary. Attending an initial one-to-one meeting with a mediation (Intake Meeting or MIAM) is also voluntary.

However, if you are making a court application, you are likely to be asked to attend an initial one-to-one mediation assessment meeting (Intake Meeting or MIAM) in order to proceed with the application. This is because the courts wish to ensure for all families that a low-conflict and cheaper option has been considered by the applicant first. Click here to find out more about family mediation.

Question 2

What does mediation cost?

Accepted Answer

This depends very much on how many mediation sessions you need. Everyone needs an initial one-to-one meeting (MIAM), and most cases will need 2-3 joint mediation sessions, some more than this. We will discuss the likely costs at your initial meeting, so that you are fully aware from the start. Our full fees list can be found here.

Question 3

Is mediation cheaper than simply using solicitors to negotiate our financial or child arrangements?

Accepted Answer

Yes, it is very likely to be cheaper, as mediating together prevents the need for multiple communications between your respective solicitors. It is also likely to take less time for the same reason.  Click here to see our charges, so that you can compare them.

Question 4

Is there funding available to help me pay for mediation?

Accepted Answer

If you are discussing child arrangements, your case may be eligible for a £500 Ministry of Justice family mediation voucher. Legal Aid is also available to help cover mediation costs for low-income families. Click here for our fees page for more information on these support options.

Question 5

Do we each pay our own mediation costs?

Accepted Answer

Yes, mediation sessions and documentation produced are chargeable to you each individually and equally. You will never be asked or expected to pay fees for the person you are attending mediation with. Click here to see our current charges.

Question 6

What if my ex-partner doesn’t want to mediate?

Accepted Answer

Mediation is voluntary, and so if one or both of you don’t wish to mediate, then mediation cannot progress at this point. We will talk to you about the other options available to you at your initial meeting. We can also provide a court form if you wish to proceed to court and need to demonstrate that mediation has been attempted. Click here to read more about family mediation.

Question 7

Do we have to be in the same room in mediation?

Accepted Answer

Mediating in the same room (whether in person or online) is usually more effective, and takes less time. However, there are situations where being in separate rooms (‘shuttle mediation’ - with the mediator moving between you), is preferable, and we will make this possible where needed. Click here to read more about the mediation process.

Question 8

Do I need a solicitor?

Accepted Answer

As mediators, we can give legal information but not legal advice. We cannot legally represent or advise either of both of you, and our impartiality is a key part of our role. We are likely to ask you each to seek your own legal advice from a solicitor, if you have not already done so, on which you can then base your discussions and proposals within the mediation room. Click here to read more about family mediation and the role of the mediator.

Question 9

Is mediation legally-binding?

Accepted Answer

No, the discussions in mediation, and the documentation produced, are not legally-binding. At the end of the mediation process, we will prepare a Summary of Proposals (sometimes called a Memorandum of Understanding) which will set out the proposals you have made together. Your solicitors can legally advise on these proposals, and then use them to form a legally-binding agreement that you have produced together.

Question 10

Is mediation about getting back together?

Accepted Answer

No, a mediator is not there to encourage or help you to get back together if you have separated. Mediation is not the same as couples counselling, either. Of course, if it ever arises that reconciliation might be something you are still considering while you are in mediation (and this is uncommon, but not unknown), we will signpost you to other services to support you in this.

Question 11

Is mediation the same as counselling or therapy?

Accepted Answer

No, mediation is not counselling, nor is it couples counselling (see question above about getting back together). Mediation is not a long-term support service either. Mediation is a process designed to help you work together to resolve a difficult issue, for a defined period of time.

Mediation focuses on your current situation and preparing for the future of your family, in whatever new form it is taking. It might be that some things that have happened in the past help you to understand better how you are each feeling about the area of dispute, but the mediator will help you look forward and will only encourage you to use your past experience where it helps you make decisions together for the future.

Counselling or therapy can of course help you in other ways, and it might be that you decide to access this alongside mediation, in order to support you individually through a challenging time of life, or to address issues that arise for you personally during this time.

Frequently asked questions